Two more parents loose a child...a baby boy

Everytime I hear about such news, I feel that stabbing wrenching pain deep within my heart and soul. I know, the sleepless nights, the days when getting out of bed is impossible, the wanting so desperately to awake from the nightmare--the realization that this bed, chair, desk, crib, and life will be empty. Nothing will ever fill that void, not ever! My advice is mostly to those who are wanting to give comfort; just listen--it's that easy! Don't hand out the old cliches as if they are the only thing you feel is right to say. Look, this baby is their baby, not yours, you can only imagine what it might feel like, but that is it! Telling the parents that this was all for the best is no comfort what so ever! Telling them the child is happier and safer now, is well....heart shattering and unfeeling! To a parent, the ONLY good place, safe place, happy place is in thier arms. Oh, I'm not negating the power and the love of God (whichever you beleive in) I'm just letting you know, to have a child ripped from our lives and hearts is so utterly unthinkable, so painful, so heart and soul crushing. Do you want to say the right thing? Just say I'm sorry-- Listen to the mom or dad talk on about their baby...it validates the existance and the knowledge that our baby was here it also makes them cry...so if crying bothers you--GET OVER IT! We do cry...we cry for hours on end, we sob in the bathtub, while driving, while looking over at the empty bed..we will cry. DO NOT insist they give all the child's belongings away Do not ask them if they are over it yet? Do not EVER expect that your friend or family member will ever be the same as before-- this horrible moment changes us forever! It has been fifiteen years for me, YES, I still sob uncontrolably, just not as often anymore. I celebrate my son's birthday and his heaven date too. I remember him at holidays by literaly shopping for him and then, I find a worthy cause to donate it to. I buy a cake, balloons, make his favorite food; my family comes over and we sit and talk about his life--it did happen you know, he was with us once. One more little item I wish to share, if by some chance, you find the child's clothes, and you can smell him or her on them...pleade don't be sweet and wash them. Put them in a sealed container and put it under mommy's pillow. ( let her know of course.) Scents are very strong, and we need them too.